It's been a year, and it has been like a billion years. It is like I am lost, and cannot be found. It has been sweet bitter, words cannot express the way I feel. It has been darkness and little light to see. I keep asking myself why I am still in the same situation I can get myself out of. Not like I am afraid or anything it just seems hard. And so God that's when you come in, because I can't do anything on my own.

Nothing has changed since the beginning. Really I just thought about it and realised that it's still the same. I can't be hanged out with cause" it not church".........lol yeah. That was really painful for that to come out of a mouth of a friend. I really don't understand why I am in this really. We have nothing in common. It's strange, how did a year pass so smoothly? ............. Oh I just realised it was hell. Trust me it was.

I feel trapped in a bottle in the middle of the sea, the only consoling thing is that it will someday get to shore, I really do not know how long it will take but it will surely get to the shore. You don't cheat you just hang out with friends and have fun, real fun, one that you can never have with me and I am happy about that. Because I know it will be one I will regret for the rest of my life.

But you know I am happy. I have cried enough, I don't think any tear will like to come out because of you any longer. Funny that my tears have actually gotten used to the kind of pain u inflict on me. There is always nothing to be said, we only talk for a long time once a blue moon. Must times it is short and brief, must time it is as if you just want to get talking to me done with, why? When you tuck to other people it's as if the conversation should never end, I don't have a problem about that but at least talk to me that way so I can feel I am a little bit important to you.

That has been my one year experience, one I don't think I will ever forget in my life. One also I had no regrets because I know who you are and can deal with people like you in the future. Thank you for this experience.